Zimpelstiltskin
by invaderzimfannumber1
Summary: This is an Invader Zim version of Rumpelstiltskin. Zim is Rumplestiltskin, Dib is the king, Gretchen is the girl, Keef is the miller, Tak is a physic, and Gir and Mini Moose are assistants. What will happen to Gretchen when she makes a deal with an Irke?


Zimpelstiltskin

A long time ago in a kingdom far far away in another dimension to be precise there lived a miller named Keef. Now Keef was the second richest man in the kingdom next to the King, Dib. Keef had a beautiful daughter named Gretchen. Now Keef was very happy, but he felt like he was missing something. One day he told his daughter about his problem and she had this to say.

-Gretchen- Well Dad I really don't understand your problem. I mean you have everything a person cold ever want you have a lot of money, me, and a great job. So you should be happy and content.

-Keef- I am happy Gretchen. I believe everybody should be happy. All of the people in the world should have a big smile on their faces and rejoice about everything, but I still feel unfulfilled and I hate it. What should I do?

-Gretchen- Well maybe you should…

-Keef- Wait I've got it. I'll go to the King and ask for his help.

-Gretchen- Oh no Dad please don't go to the King. You always make everything worse whenever you go to see him.

-Keef- I'm sorry Gretchen, but my mind is made up. Wish me luck and have a wonderful day. (He left for the castle.

-Gretchen- I have a bad feeling about this.

So Keef went to go see the King. Now the King is normally a very nice guy. There is just one thing that he will not tolerate and that is lying. If anybody ever lies to the King about anything they get their head cut off. The King also loves strange creatures and the best way to attract these kinds of creatures in this day and age is to use gold. So the King loves to surround himself with gold.

Now Keef had been at the King's caste for less than an hour and he is already drunk and in trouble. Which is exactly what Gretchen was worried about.

-Keef- So you see your highness that is my problem *hiccup*. So what do you think I should do? (He said as he fell out of his seat.)

-Dib- Well first of all I think you should cut down on the wine Keef.

-Keef- (He got up as best he could holding his glass.) None since I love wine. Waitress more wine *hiccup*. You are a very nice guy and I like you a lot *hiccup*… (Gaz came into the room holding to a pitcher of wine.) Hi cutty another round please.

-Gaz- The name is Gaz.

-Keef- O.k. more wine my darling Gaz. (He said putting his hand on Gaz.)

-Gaz- Grr…

-Dib- (He turned his chair to worn Keef.) Ah… Keef I really don't think you should anger Gaz or get more wine.

-Keef- Oh come on your highness live a little and between you and me I ask for a lot of wine because I really want to get Gaz's attention. Has that purple pig always been there *hiccup*…?

-Dib- O.k. anyway Keef I have to agree with your daughter why do you need something more in your life. I mean come on you have almost as much gold as me, a beautiful daughter, and I bet a beautiful wife as well.

-Keef- No my wife died a couple of years ago which is great news for you dream hotty.

-Gaz- (Gaz turned and gave Keef such a look.) Hit on me one more time and I promise you I will pommel you into a bloody plump.

-Dib- (He turn his chair again so he could tell Gaz what she should not do.) No now Gaz don't… (She gave Dib a look that said "BACK OFF OR DIE!"

-Keef- (He just finished drinking a big mouth full of the pitcher. Then he put it down and said the thing that caused all the trouble.) My daughter can weave hay into gold *hiccup*...

-Dib- (He spit his drink out. He moved his chair so he could talk to Keef directly.) What that is amazing I would love to see your daughter…

-Keef- Hold on a minute *hiccup*. Gaz don't take the wine pitcher away cutting. (He said grabbing the wine.)

-Gaz- (Rage welled up in her eyes. Then she grabbed Keef and started to drag him into the closet.)

-Keef- My wine. (He was dragged into the closet.) AAAHHH!

-Dib- (He got up from his chair wanting to break up the fight, but the sounds coming from inside the closest really scared the king.)

-Gaz- (She came out of the closet and went into the kitchen. Then Keef came out of the closet very beat up and bloody.)

-Keef- O.k. what just happened?

-Dib- I don't think I want to know. Anyways you were just telling me that your daughter can weave hey into gold.

-Keef- I said what?

-Dib- You said your daughter can weave hay into gold. And I said "I would love to see your daughter do this amazing task.

-Keef- Oh you would well ah…

-Dib- You had better not be lying to me Keef. You know how I feel about lying.

-Keef- No shyer I am not lying I…

-Dib- Good then bring your daughter to my castle tomorrow night, or else.

-Keef- Yes sir. (He left to go tell Gretchen the terrible news.)

Of course when Keef got home he tried to act as calm as possible, but he was weak and after less than two sentences he told his daughter everything while crying.

-Keef- I am so sorry Gretchen. I didn't know what came over me.

-Gretchen- Judging by your breath wine came over you and I knew this would happen.

-Keef- Wine where… Gaz? (He looked but there was no wine or pretty Gaz just his disappointed daughter.) Gretchen I am so sorry, but Gaz is so beautiful and… Please forgive me Gretchen I'll come up with a plan.

-Gretchen- No I'll handle this myself. You just stay here. I'll figure something out.

So the next night Gretchen went to the castle with a heave heart at first. But then when she saw the King she nearly fainted. He was just so attractive. And best of all he also felt something for her.

-Dib- Wow Gretchen your father was not kidding when he said, "you were beautiful".

-Gretchen- Thank you your highness. You are very handsome yourself.

-Dib- Oh thank you Gretchen. Well I suppose you know why you're here.

-Gretchen- Yes I do and I…

-Dib- Good now let's get right to work.

-Gretchen- But I… (She tried to tell Dib the true, but time was against her and Dib grabbed her hand.)

Dib led Gretchen into a room about 4 feet wide filled up to the top with hey the only other thing in the room was a spinning wheel.

-Dib- Alright Gretchen here is the deal. I want you to weave all of this hay into gold by tomorrow morning. If I come back tomorrow and find one piece of hey then you and your father will have your heads cute off. Sorry, but no matter how pretty you are I can't tolerate lying in my kingdom.

-Gretchen- I understand. (Dib left and locked the door behind him. She tried to open the door, but nothing worked. She backed up and looked at all the work she had to do.) Oh what am I going to do? I don't know how to weave hay into gold. That it I'm going to die… (She cried into her hands like crazy.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- (He appeared with Gir and Mini Moose in a puff of red smoke.) Seuss your pitiful crying for I… *calf* GIR YOU IDOIT YOU USED TOO MUCH APPEARING GAS! (Gir sprayed some more gas in Zimpelstiltskin face from his moth.) *Calf* Uw I don't know why I put up with you.

-Gir- Hahahah… dusty dusty…

-Zimpelstiltskin- Silence!

-Gretchen- Ah excuse me, but who are you?

-Gir- He be…

-Zimpelstiltskin- (He covered Gir's mouth.) Who I am is not important. What is important is that I have come to solve your feeble human problem.

-Gretchen- You mean you can weave hay into gold, but that's impossible.

-Zimpelstiltskin- Nothing is impossible for my genius and…

-Gretchen- (She hugged Zimpelstiltskin.) Oh thank you so much weird green man.

-Zimpelstiltskin- (He pushed her off of him.) Enough no stupid human may ever touch me with their filth and I did not say I would perform this amazing talent for free.

-Gretchen- Oh well what do you want?

-Zimpelstiltskin- Hmmm…

Gir- (He walked up to Gretchen and said...) Uw pretty ring. I want it give me give me. WAH!

-Zimpelstiltskin- ENOUGH! I'll take your ring.

-Gretchen- O.k. here. (She gave him her ring.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- Thank you. Here Gir and not another word out of you. (He gave Gir the Ring.)

-Gir- YEAH! (He sucked on the ring's jewel and saluted.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- Grr… now go to sleep.

-Gretchen- But I'm not sleepy?

-Zimpelstiltskin- Uw do I have to do everything around here GIR!

-Gir- Fairy Dust YEAH! (He through some dust on to Gretchen the dust made her fall asleep.)

The Next Day…

-Gretchen- (She woke up.) Huh oh no. Why did I fall asleep? NO I CAN'T I I I… (All of the hay had been woven into gold.)

-Dib- (He walked into the room shocked passed Gretchen and said...) I don't believe it you actually did it.

-Gretchen- Yah I guess I did?

-Dib- You guess?

-Gretchen- No I mean I know.

-Dib- Really well then come with me. (He led her out of the room and into more trouble.) Here we are.

Dib had taken her into an even bigger room filled with even more hay.

-Dib- As you can see this room has tons more hay…

-Gretchen- Question we do you have so much hay?

-Dib- You know I asked my Dad that very same question and he said "I got a really good deal on hay." Anyway Gretchen I am going to be honest with you. I need more proof. I mean judging by your reaction I don't believe that you really did that incredible job on your own. So here is my deal. You must weave all this hay into gold and I will through a big feast in your honor, but if you can't then… (He ran his hand under his neck and made a cutting sound.)

-Gretchen- (She held her neck.) I understand.

-Dib- Sorry see you tomorrow. (He closed the door again.)

-Gretchen- Oh great now what? Oh your highness… ( She said as Dib came back into the room carrying a plate with some food on it.)

-Dib- Sorry Gretchen I just want to give you some food. You need to keep your strength up.

-Gretchen- Oh thank you. (She took the plate and put it on the floor and took an apple from the plate and started to eat.) Ah your highness if you don't mind me asking why do you need all of this gold?

-Dib- Well between you and me Gretchen this kingdom is in debt and I need to pay off our debt before it gets too late.

-Gretchen- (She dropped the apple in shock.) Oh no…

-Dib- Yah that's right and you must keep this between us.

-Gretchen- Don't worry I will.

-Dib- Good well I will see you in the morning. (He left.)

-Gretchen- (She looked at the door with love in her eyes, because Dib is just cute and… She backed up in a kind of gaze and then she realized what she was doing and slapped herself to turn her back to normal.) Stop it girl you are already in enough trouble you don't need to be falling in love now… (She steped back and looked at the hay and gulped.) Man what if the green guy does not come tonight? Maybe I could do this on my own.

So Gretchen started to try and weave the hay into gold. You can imagine how that worked out. By 12:00 she was in tears and she had cut all of her fingers on the spindle of the spinning wheel.

-Gretchen- Ow oh man what am I going to do? STUPID LITTLE GREEN MAN where is he? I DON'T WANNA DIE!

-Zimpelstiltskin- (He appeared with Gir and Mini Moose in a puff of pink smoke.) Don't fear I… Hahahah Gir you idiot hahahah you used the laughing appearing gas WHY HAHAHAHA!

-Gir- Wee it is so pretty HAHAH…

-Zimpelstiltskin- I Hahahaha… (Mini Moose through a sea water balloon at Zimpelstiltskin to delude the laughing gas.) Thank you Mini Moose… And as for you Filthy Gretchen Human I am not short. We are the same HIEGHT! (They really aren't she is a little bit taller.) Do not question me! So I see the greedy big headed King wants more gold. (He said walking around looking at the hay.)

-Gretchen- Hey he is not greed. He just wants the gold to pay off the kingdom's debt.

-Zimpelstiltskin- Whatever… So what will you give me this time in exchange for my ingenious skills?

-Gir- Uww look at the pretty bug. (He flew up to the ceiling.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- Gir get down from there!

-Gir- (He was now upside down on the ceiling.) No I like it up here WEE!

-Zimpelstiltskin-Can I see your necklace human?

-Gretchen- O.k. (She gave him her necklace.)

-Zimpelstiltskin-Mini Moose tie this around Gir's neck and BRING HIM DOWN AT ONCE!

-Mini Moose- Meep! (He saluted and flew up and tied the necklace around Gir. Then he pulled him down.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- Good work Mini Moose. Anyway Gretchen I will take your necklace. I need something to keep this maniac under control. (Gir was currently playing with a rubber moose.)

-Gretchen- O.k…

-Zimpelstiltskin- Now you must rest.

-Gretchen- Again, but I really…

-Zimpelstiltskin- (He took out the same kind of stuff again and sprayed it on Gretchen and she fell asleep.)

The green man worked through the night and then when Gretchen woke in the morning…

The Next Day

-Gretchen- I did it again…

-Dib- Yes you did and I want you to follow me. (He said as he walked into room to find that all of the hay had been woven into gold.) Come with me Gretchen. (He led her to the garden.) Gretchen I am glad that you were able to succeed again. I don't like the idea of beheading anybody especially someone as kind and pretty as you.

-Gretchen- Oh thank you your highness.

-Dib- (He talked as he grabbed his bow and arrow.) Please call me Dib. How did you do it?

-Gretchen- Well I… You see it was ah…

-Dib- I get it secret. (He said as he shot an arrow at the target.) I'm just glad you did it. I was able to attract so many amazing creatures with your first batch of gold and with all that gold that you just woven for me the kingdom's debt problems are all over.

-Gretchen- Good ah Dib I ah…

-Dib- Do you wanna try?

-Gretchen- I guess…

-Dib- (He helped hold her hands just right.) That's it now release. (She got a perfect boolzize. The two of them looked into each other's eyes and almost kissed.)

-Gaz- The food is ready…

-Dib- Right… Well come on Gretchen. (They were all sitting at the table.) I am very fortunate to have found someone like Gretchen. She has solved almost all of our kingdom's problems in one night. A toast to…

-Gretchen- What do you mean almost all of?

-Dib- Well you see Gretchen the kingdom itself still need more gold. So here is my new deal for you. I want you to weave one more room full of hey into gold. If you are able to do this I will make you my queen.

-Gretchen- (She nearly chocked no her food.) What did you just say?

-Dib- I will make you my queen?

-Gretchen- That is what I thought you said. But I am merely a miller's daughter?

-Dib- So you're very nice and you are very talented. I dough I would ever find a better wife in a million years.

-Gretchen- But I…

-Keef- She'll do it *hiccup*. (He said drunk again.)

-Gretchen- Dad…

-Dib- Wonderful.

So Dib took Gretchen into the barn and as you can imagine the barn was the biggest room yet. Gretchen was locked in and left alone.

-Gretchen- Oh no what am I going to do now?

-Zimpelstiltskin- (He appeared with Mini Moose and a bag in his hands. He was laying on a barn wooden tool box that was pretty big.) What do you mean what are you going to do? You humans are so dumb. (He said as he got off of the box.) You'll pay me and survive and become the new queen dah…

-Gretchen- How did you know that?

-Zimpelstiltskin- I know everything.

-Gretchen- O.k. where is your other assistant and what is with the bag?

-Zimpelstiltskin- I left that idiot at home and I brought this bag with me to carry my new prize in. (He said as he put his bag on the table.)

-Gretchen- Yes well about that I…

-Gir- (A strange sound came from the bag. Then the bag exploded to reveal…) It's me I was in the bag all along.

-Zimpelstiltskin- Gir you idiot I told you to stay home.

-Gir- I was so lonely I love you… (Gir attacked the man.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- Get off of me Gir. GET OFF! (He bumped into the box and fell over on to the ground.) What are you looking at now give me my payment. (He said standing up with anger in his eyes about more than one thing.)

-Gretchen- Well I don't have anything right now, but when I become queen…

-Zim- No I refuse to wait. (He was about to leave then Gretchen grabbed his legs.)

-Gretchen- No please don't go I don't wanna die! I'll give you anything.

-Zimpelstiltskin- No I will not wait.

-Gir- Aww don't be so mean Master PLEASE… (He said as he started to squeak his moose all around Zim.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- Fine I know what I want. I want your first born child.

-Gretchen- Why?

-Zimpelstiltskin- Because, I need another assistant!

-Gretchen- You have two?

-Zimpelstiltskin- And one of them is an idiot.

-Gir- (He currently was sucking on a needle from the spinning wheel and he had the moose on his head instead of this hat.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- Anyway do you wanna die?

-Gretchen- No please just let me think I…

-Zimpelstiltskin- You do realize human fool that if I don't help you then you'll die and never even have a child right?

-Gretchen- Well I guess so but…

-Zimpelstiltskin- Good! (He took out the bag fool of sleeping dust.) Now…

-Gretchen- I know I know sleep. (She purred the dust on her head and fell asleep.)

-Zimpelstiltskin- Now that is more like it.

The Next Day…

Gretchen woke up to find the green man was gone and the hay was all woven into gold. She was happy, but at what cost. The next day Dib and Gretchen were married.

2 years later…

Gretchen had a new baby girl and by this time she had completely forgotten her promise to the little man. That is until one day when she was rocking her baby to sleep he appeared with his assistances.

-Zimpelstiltskin- I am here to claim my prize.

-Gretchen- Huh you're really were real.

-Zimpelstiltskin- Of course I am real now give me your baby.

-Gretchen- (She got in between him and her baby's crib.) Oh no please don't take my baby. I am the queen now. I will give you anything in the kingdom. Just please don't my baby away from me.

-Zimpelstiltskin- No one tells me what to do. We made a deal.

-Gretchen- (She grabbed his legs.) No please can't we make a new deal. Please you can't… (She started crying.) PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY BABY!

-Gir- Oh come on Master. She is so nice and squeeze. Please Please WAHH!

-Zimpelstiltskin- (He was about to start squeaking his moose again but Zimpelstiltskin stopped him.) Don't even think about it. (He looked at their eyes, and he knew that Gir would get free soon so he said…) Alright alright I'll make another deal with you filthy human. I'll give you 3 days. If you can't guess my name by the end of the third day then I will take your baby. AND THERE WILL BE NO CRYING FROM EITHER OF YOU!

-Gir- YEAH!

-Gretchen- O.k. I guess so...

So the little man left. The next day Gretchen thought of every name she could think of and told them all to the green man. But every time he either said "No, How dare you insult me with that filthy earth name, not even close stupid human. Hahahaha" When Gretchen could not think of anymore names the green man said "I'll be back tomorrow at this same time.

This time Gretchen sent guards to search the entire kingdom for names. When the green man arrived again she read through the list but none of the names were his.

-Zimpelstiltskin- That is not my name foolish stink creature. You have only one day left then I win! HAHAHA! (He disappeared in a puff of smoke.)

Gretchen was so depressed she did not know what to do and her husband could sense her sadness.

-Dib- What's wrong Gretchen?

-Gretchen- Oh Dib I've done a horrible thing. I promised our child to a little green man in exchange for something.

-Dib- What? Don't worry my love I will destroy this evil beast.

-Gretchen- No he has great power the only way out of this is if I can guess his name by the end of tomorrow.

-Dib- I've got it. Go see Tak the Psychic she can help us.

-Gretchen- Of course why didn't I think of her before?

So Gretchen went to go see Tak the Psychic. She told Tak everything and after paying her the jewel fee she asked Tak if she could do anything to help her.

-Tak- I knew it! When I heard that a human could weave hay into gold I knew something was wrong. Humans can't do something like that only a magical being can. And judging by what you've told me the one you got help from is evil and not to be trusted.

-Gretchen- I know. But I had no choice.

-Tak- Calm down I'll try to find the solution in my crystal ball. Oh magical crystal ball tell us what Gretchen should do? Give us a name, a sign, anything. (A name was coming into focus on a piece of paper then there was a strange sound and Tak took her hands away from the ball and then the crystal ball exploded in their faces.)

-Gretchen- *Calf* What happened?

-Tak- I don't know… (The little green man appeared in a puff of smoke laughing in victory.) Oh that little rat he'll pay for this.

-Gretchen- Wait that's him he's the guy that I made the deal with.

-Tak- I should have known. He is a disgrace to our race and more importantly you owes me money. Regrettably he never told me his name, but I do know where he lives. Here this map will it lead you to his house. (She gave Gretchen a map.)

-Gretchen- Oh thank you so much. (She ran off with the map in hand.)

So Gretchen followed the map and she soon found a clearing behind some bushes. When she pulled back the bushes she found the green man. He was dancing around a fire and with Gir and Min Moose. He was sing of his assumed victory.

-Zimpelstiltskin- Hahahahaha… Nobody smart, but me. Tomorrow it the day I get what is coming to me. I will win and get a new assistant. WHOO-HOO and it's all because Gretchen will never guess that I AM ZIMPELSTILTSKIN! Hahahahaha… Nobody smart, but me. Nobody smart, but me. Hahahahaha…

-Gretchen- Yes! (She ran off so happy that she now knew the one word that would save her baby.)

The Next Day…

Gretchen- Larb…

-Zimpelstiltskin- Never not the least bit worthy of my glorious self.

-Gretchen- Is your name Skoodge?

-Zimpelstiltskin- Blah what a stupid name. NEVER!

-Gretchen- How about Floaty?

-Zimpelstiltskin- No I win HAHAHAHA!

-Gretchen- Now hold on a minute I have heard of one more name.

-Zimpelstiltskin- Oh come on. Oh fine whatever what is your last guess?

-Gretchen- Is your name Zimpelstiltskin?

-Zimpelstiltskin- No how? The Devil told you. THE DEVIL TOLD YOU! (He ripped off his Pak and through it on the floor and it broke into mean small pieces.) Oh crap!... (He pointed and said.) You shall pay for this filthy human. (He ran off in a rush.)

No one knows what happened to the little green man named Zimpelstiltskin. Some say that he died. Other say that he's still alive, but there is a lesson to be learned from this story. Never make a deal with someone when you don't even know their name, because not everybody is as lucky as Gretchen. I think. As for Gretchen and Dib and their baby they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

I have had this written for a very long time, but I wanted my reviews to get a taste of just reading a comic book version before I posted the written thing. Anyway I hope you all enjoyed this story. And yes this means that I will soon be posting the next chapter of Birthday Surprise and I just have one thing to say about that... FINALLY! Also the next story after Birthday Surprise is Half Knowledge. Anyway ZIM WILL LIVE FOREVER!


End file.
